Tender Mercies..

"We no longer need your services, and you know the routine.  If everything goes well, you have two weeks."

Not exactly what we wanted to hear.  This last week has been a whirlwind of emotions.  I must say, an absolute faith bender!  I have never fought so hard for blind faith and understanding.  After properly going through all the emotions...the proper mourning....I'm beginning to see the light.

First emotion: fear.  Scared to death as to what we're going to do.  How will we pay the bills?  Where will we live?  Will we have to impose on family?  Will we have to borrow money?  Will we have to leave our friends and ward family?  How will we eat?  Should I cancel everything?  Which bank would be the best to rob?  Just kidding...okay, maybe not. 

Second emotion: anger.  Okay, sheer rage.  How can someone live with themselves..putting a family of 5 out without a cause.  After only a month or two at this property, how can someone assess 8 years of service?  AND TO DO IT WITHOUT A LEGIT REASON!!  I swore revenge...

Third emotion: hurt.  For years he has slaved away for this company.  Do they not know about the sacrifices he made and devotion he had to them?  So many times, he was there at the drop of a hat because no one else knew how to handle a situation.  The things we did to go above and beyond for a company who had zero appreciation for him.  Felt like a hard slap across the face. 

BUT

Much to my shagrin...my amazing, stalwart, faithful, unwavering husband...was in a totally different place.  Spiritually speaking, I feel like I'm not too easily shaken, but this one rocked my world.  After days of crying, hours and hours in bed...with no sleep, no appetite, and a feeling of utter hopelessness...a small, dim, light at the end of this LONG tunnel sparked. 

Next, prayer.  Heart wrenching, honest, pour-out-your-soul-prayer.  When I couldn't think of what to do, and desired the same peaceful feeling everyone else had, my wise husband said, "You should give that to the Lord...I did."  He carried his head up high, with a smile on his face, and pushed forward.  He was right.  I needed to pray.  The Lord isn't going to let us down.  After many prayers, plenty of pleading, a day of fasting, and sheer exhaustion, I felt like I had given my all.

Then, the miracle, or miracles.

Amazing.  As I sit here and write this, I am so humbled and full of gratitude for an all knowing, and loving Father in heaven.  One small "coincidence" at a time began to unveil that things are in NO way a coincidence.  Each and every moment, person, decision, was completely created by divine design.  Let me share each tender mercy from the Lord, that brought me to where I am today.  Bear with me, as I list them for my own self.  I never want to forget each and every little miracle which became the answer to my prayers.  Peace, that's what I prayed for.  As all these little things slowly started to pile up, I saw the Lord was giving me exactly what I asked for:

First we needed to find a place to live.  The problem is, I work at the school, and don't want the kids to leave this school.  We also needed a place cheap enough to make the rent doable!  We just HAPPENED to find a little house, across from the school, that was affordable.  Funny thing is, we only have one car.  Now we just HAPPENED to be close enough to be able to walk to school, so Andrew could take the car to a new job.  There was another family coming to look at this same house too.  It just so HAPPENED that they were coming an hour later, so we were able to look at the house first.  It also just so HAPPENED that the landlords didn't want to wait to meet them.  They had a "good feeling" about us, and signed the lease with us right away without checking our credit or references.  It just so HAPPENED that Andrew's mom was in a good place and was able to help us put a deposit down that night!  Another funny thing was, it just so HAPPENED that a few months ago, a resident at the apartment complex tried to recruit Andrew to work with him out at the private prison as a guard.  He is a Sargent there, and said they were looking for a few good people.  It just so HAPPENED that with a few cut backs, and a second look at the budget, if we tightened up a bit the wages there would be good enough for this house.  It was amazing, that it just so HAPPENED that the academy for the guard position starts in February, which is exactly when the pay from his previous job will be running out.  Good thing, that it just so HAPPENED that we pay our bills monthly and everything was already paid for January.    I could really go on and on.  We will need a washer and dryer, and have a few other minimal start up costs, but the best part is.....it just so HAPPENED that all of this took place right before tax returns! 

I'm sure you get my point.  None of this was a coincidence.  The Lord had his hand in this entire journey.  I see what (I hope) he wanted me to learn. We are so excited about meeting new people and going on this new adventure!  I am so overwhelmed with the outpouring of love and support as well. I just gotta say....I am surrounded by the most A-M-A-Z-I-N-G people ever! Love my family and friends. Couldn't have made it through this without all the love, prayers, meals, words of encouragement, hugs, text messages, phone calls, emails, chocolate, boxes, food boxes, and simple smiles. The service that has been rendered has shown me the pure love of Christ.


I am better for this.  Andrew is better for this.  Our family will be better for this. I have learned so much, and my testimony has been strengthened in so many ways.  Awesome!  Truly blessed by all the small tender mercies of the Lord.